“I would”

Slumped in an easy chair in a Premier Inn bar

Beer and wine settling on top of his dinner

Drooling over female television presenters

Hardly an athlete; he could be much thinner


“If I wasn’t married

Given half a chance”

“I would” he proclaims

“Without second glance”*


How has this male whale

With all of his blubber

Ever been wed?

Perhaps she’s not real, but just made of rubber?


n.b. I despair.


n.n.b. * He is from North, so speaks that way.


CLP 11/12/2019