on London

taxing the low paid
while laundering millions
tennis with BoJo

~

n.b. It’s wrong. London’s financial machinery is central to money laundering crime world-wide. See the Pandora Papers for more.

CLP 05/10/2021

on Switzerland iv

meet ten people
two work anti-corruption
mountains of money

~

n.b. Catherine Belton’s book “Putin’s People” mentions Switzerland (and London) frequently. She and the publishers are subject to a number of libel suits in London at present. We’ll see how that pans out.

CLP 27/09/2021

The Sheepish Inspector Clueslow

I had pulled on a sock

when came a knock

that morn at six o’clock

I got a shock

at my door stood a flock

of lambs and rams and ewes

“Why have you no shoes?

This does not amuse

when we bring news

of developments and clues.”

Encouraged to dash

I dressed in a flash

grabbed loose cash

into the rain did splash

“Where are we heading?”

I asked, still warm from bedding

following the sheep’s treading

through petals blown from hedging

in the direction of Reading.

“It is quite a way”

a lamb turned to say

“for such a wet day

on paths of clay

but we must not delay.”

We moved apace

I got red of face

joining the chase

for news on the case

that took much space

in the daily press

I’d had little success

evidence all a mess

no suspect would confess

I was under duress

to solve the crime

under pressure of time

no longer in my prime

as we hit a hill to climb

I called out ‘Wait! I’m…”

but the sheep rushed on

I had to stay strong

it would not be long

they’ve not been wrong

always on song

when called upon

by their sense of duty

to come and help me

after I had set free

a ram mistakenly

charged with animal cruelty.

At last they stopped

by a tree just lopped

where they had copped

a man I’d once shopped

but who free had hopped

to continue with his trade

that always dismayed

showing crime might pay

by his ostentatious display

of ill-gotten gains

“So it was you! At last!”

I weakly gasped

his look aghast

to have his past

have the laugh last

and catch him so

“Did you not know

I might be slow

but despite aggro

will never let go

if some two-timing, cheating, lying, rustling crook like you ever crosses me. I always win in the end, because, unlike you, I have friends.”

The sheep and I took the criminal to the police station, then set off to the local pub for a celebratory beer, but with no luck.

Apparently, the landlord had recently had difficulty with this flock, something to do with illegal gambolling, so they were all barred.

~

n.b. NaPoWriMo 2021 A Skeltonic for a Friday.

NaPoWriMo

~

CLP 16/04/2021

The Big Sleet

Just when I thought things were cooling off in the city things started hotting up again.

These remains were found in Chapelfield Garden at first light. I was shocked. Usually a place for grannies and kids and we get another icing in plain sight – but no witnesses!

The Forensics team will have to work fast given the conditions.

Meanwhile I have sent Junior out looking for a pink and cream van that was seen in the area. The sound system was heard to be playing “Pop! Goes The Weasel.”

Maybe it’s a clue, maybe not. If so, it’s all we’ve got. I admit, I am clutching at straws.

Once had a guy wanting to base a film around my detective work. He said ideally John Thaw would have played the lead. He would have had more luck asking Jon Snow.

~

CLP 16/02/2021

Mr Tee: Snow Evidence

With facts thin on the ground, we had to let Mr Tee go. It will be impossible to get a grip on him unless he really slips up. He’s a master of disguise. It’s likely he’s completely evaporated by now.

The Chief has got a hot temper, which hasn’t helped in questioning such a cool customer. The enquiry has been brushed aside, filed with the cold cases.

It leaves me cold to think the Norwich Carrotter might be out there still. I think he’ll be back, it’s just a matter of time. I’ll just grit my teeth, be patient and throw some salt over my shoulder for luck. Nothing to get hot under the collar about.

It pays to keep a cool head in this game.

~

CLP 14/02/2021

Norwich Carrotting Case

We had a hot tip from a nark in south-east London about Cedric’s icing. The lead went cold on us pretty fast. The person we wanted to speak to had slipped out of the country.

I asked The Chief for more resources for this enquiry before things snowball out of control. He said there’s a freeze on spending. It’s crystal clear more people are needed to work this case, or it will continue at a glacial pace.

The likely source of the weapon has been identified. We’re pretty sure it was from the organic frozen vegetable range in the Iceland on St. Stephen’s Street.

I wasn’t expecting an avalanche of witnesses, after the call to the public for help, but I realise the local football team play in yellow for good reason – the locals are scared. If we lean on the right person I’m sure they’ll sing like a canary.

~

Follow the Snow Falling On Cedric Mystery so far:

Episode 1: https://voyageswriting.com/2021/02/10/snow-falling-on-cedric/

Episode 2: https://voyageswriting.com/2021/02/11/suspects-held-for-questioning/

Episode 3: https://voyageswriting.com/2021/02/12/call-for-witnesses/

Episode 4: https://voyageswriting.com/2021/02/12/norwich-carrotting-breaking-news/

~

CLP 12/02/2021

Norwich Carrotting – Breaking News

We put the squeeze on known associates of the suspects. One of them cracked, the other said he wouldn’t split on his friends.

We went looking for others but they seem to have melted away into the gutters of this cold-hearted city.

Had to have a word with the junior detective on the case after he said, “Don’t know about you guv, but they all look the same to me.” That was not very PC of him.

Things have been a little frosty between us as a result.

~

CLP 12/02/2021

Call for Witnesses

We need to move fast in the carrotting case. Frankly, we are stumped. Witnesses are turning out to be a little flakey.

The Chief is putting pressure on, “We can’t afford to let this slide.” he told today’s briefing. Still looking for a motive, but I got a hunch that lots of lolly will be involved.

If you know anything call our hotline.

~

CLP 12/02/2021

Suspects Held for Questioning

Three suspects are being questioned in the recent Norwich carrotting case. Refusing to answer questions. They think by keeping cool they’ll get away with it. Time to put the heat on them.

~

CLP 11/02/2021

Snow Falling on Cedric

It was a black and white kind of day. I took a turn into town and found this stiff on the street. At first I thought, ‘Poor guy, he’s frozen to death’ but then I recognised him, Cedric! I called the cops, he had been carrotted.

~

CLP 10/02/2021