On Numbers 60+

Oh you complete fool!

Why would they let Brits rush through?

Brexit means exit


n.b. Alexander Johnson wants freedom of movement for the British within the EU borders. Eh? I thought this was what you wanted to end? A wait of over 60 minutes for the British when queuing to pass into EU countries is just one more inconvenience that we can look forward to following the lies and deception and corruption and Russian sponsorship of the “winning” Brexit campaign. I have to laugh, otherwise I would weep.


CLP 24th October, 2020

On Numbers 1

Tonight we will see

One o’clock twice then Two too

Could be the last time


n.b. In the EU the shifting of clocks back an hour in autumn and forward in winter was going to end in 2021 following an agreement between national parliaments.

Who knows what will happen in the UK?

The Conservative government may have promised to play along for as long as it takes for dew on the lawn to evaporate on a summer’s morning.

Slogans reiterating that the current Prime Minister is untrustworthy have appeared all over Norwich. It wasn’t me, officer. Honest.

However, now it seems I am behind the times. The end of clock changes in the EU has been postponed, but why waste a good bit of copy?


CLP 24/10/2020

On Numbers 530

It doesn’t matter

how many yards it is there

if it’s the wrong way


n.b. The old English game of twisting signposts around, or even removing them in case any odd foreign types think of invading, continues. I think some of us are beginning to realise that the reason these islands have not been invaded for such a long time, at least not overtly since the Welsh Tudors took over with the help of the French in CE 1485, is that nobody can be bothered with us…except Alexander Johnson’s Russian exile backers.

There will be some sadness as the EU waves the UK au revoir, but I am sure they have bigger fish to fry. They’ll get over it soon enough. It was a bitter-sweet affair from the start. Stuff happens; move on.


CLP 22/10/2020

On Numbers 6

A social sextet,

multiplied by two metres:

twelve square metres


n.b. I think that you’ll find pub tables ain’t quite that big…not that anyone is counting, so “one metre plus” is fine as well. I checked with the BBC.

The scientific evidence for physical distancing is published in the British Medical Journal, but it suggests we are not far enough apart. Which makes sense when you realise you can smell someone exhaling strawberry fumes from an electronic smoking device from a car park and a half distant. (What is it about those things? Why not just suck a lolly pop?).


CLP 21/10/2020

On Numbers 20

There is a limit

But please, don’t worry yourself

Nobody’s counting


n.b. Of late the UK speed limit signs have become absolutely pointless pieces of street furniture, unless you consider them to be essential props in the black humour of the living art installation that is Brexit Britain.


CLP 21/10/2020