Journey of Words

Morning bathroom visit
After uninterrupted night's sleep
Starts simply enough
Rollover
Brief kiss
"Good morning, sweetheart.
I'll be back asap."
Bladder demands emptying
Alone, that would be fine
If a little tedious
As time taken seems to be 
FOREVER
Especially after having to wait
For morning glory to subside
Even from standing position
Best for male to stand
But then, a biological alarm sets off requirement to evacuate bowel
Definition of FOREVER requires re-assessment
As this job takes FOREVER + t
Wiping rather than just shaking now required
Then rather than brief flush
press and hold for FULL FLUSH is needed 
Then apply brush to bowl
And AGAIN. Really?
Wait for water to run warm takes absolutely BLIMMING AGES
Surely that shower we took together at bedtime
Could not have used ALL THE HOT WATER?
Having looked in the mirror
While waiting AN ABSOLUTE EON
Just to wash my hands
I see evidence of last night's celebration of our romantic mutuality needs washing off
FFS
Tap (okay, "faucet" for readers in AMERICAN-ENGLISH...How much time do they think I've got?)
Anyway, tap turned off
And step into the shower
Turn on shower and step back as warm water makes its way at its own pace to shower head
MORE TIME WASTED
Shower gel applied
Fine, stand still, close eyes, breathe
Enjoy steamy rivulets coursing down torso
Satisfying warmth on shoulders
breathe again, calm
Reach for shampoo
Shampoo? "WHERE'S THE Ruddy SHAMPOO?"
Step out of shower onto bathmat
Look for shampoo
Only sign of shampoo is upturned plastic bottle by bathroom bin
Have to search for new bottle
Not in cupboard AAAARGH!
Back in shower
Temperature reducing of own accord
This is not doing me any good
DO YOU KNOW THAT WIM HOFF BLOKE CAN DO ONE RIGHT NOW!
Shower off, this is supposed to be Sunday
CALL THIS A DAY OF REST
Where is the towel?
I remember!
Towels thoughtlessly thrown on bedroom floor in our post-shower enthusiasm to do the conjugal stuff
Towels out of reach, probably cold and damp
Fresh towel needed.
The airing cupboard is EMPTY!
This now getting RIDICULOUS
Cool, damp towel it has to be.
URGH!
From bed you sweetly beckon
"Hurry up my love, I'm getting bored waiting."
We kiss,
"What's taken you so long in there, Big Boy?
Oh, you haven't even shaved! Could you, darling?
You know what I like, don't you? You naughty man."
Return to bathroom
At hand basin
Knock on door
"Darling?"
"Yes, flower?"
"Do you mind if I just nip in quickly before you shave?"
Thinks
FOR CRYING OUT BLOODY LOUD!!!!
"No problem, sweetest. I'll go and put the coffee on.
I'll shave before bed tonight."
"Oh. You've forgotten. I did tell you, it's Girls Night Out tonight. Don't wait up, darling."

~

n.b. NaPoWriMo 2026 Day 5: Reasons to be grumpy (part 3).

CLP 05/04/2026