L3: Day 29 On The Bridge

I was walking back from the shop, carrying a paper bag of groceries in my arms when I reached the bridge. I have been here before, but not like this. There has usually been some kind of run up, run out, or just gradually being run down. Not this time. I just thought, from nowhere really, “I could just step over the barrier.”

I surprised myself at the sudden appearance of the idea. I recognised this as ideation and important to acknowledge. I need to speak to someone. Then it came on me again, echoed in my limbs, was more familiar, less frightening. I thought of my sons and grandchildren, my family.

I walked back to my apartment. Unpacked my groceries. Went to an online business meeting. Afterwards I made a phone call and asked if the kettle was on. It was, of course. The kettle is always on somewhere.

~

CLP 03/02/2021

On 2020

Memorable year

One I would rather forget

Finally ends here

~

CLP 31/12/2020

Autumnal

On fields of decapitated barley, the hollow stubble full with last night’s rain, huge straw reels stand askew; great golden wheels left out to dry in the Sun, emitting a musty warmth, while fungi forms in dewy soil on which the geese reconvene to recommence their wintery discourse.

These large birds’ clacking beaks break into the day with husky talk in croaked, dawn-crack voices; the gabbling gaggle precedes the early calls of crows, blackbird and songs of rising larks, to signal our brief summer’s passing.

CLP 21/07/2020